moms day!

what about my mom?
my moms a survivor!

youve changed me inside.

this year has been one full of memories i shall treasure. i found a friend for a lifetime. i don't know if my heart could hold more love for him! he's such a good person, i'm so lucky to be his friend, so fortunate to have met him. he changed me, i'm a different person, and its good. i'm completely myself with him, he knows i'm a nerd, dork, and a big goof ball. he's heard me sing, good and bad. he laughs when i'm not funny and hugged away my fears. he cared for me when i was sick, listened to my stories over and over, wants to know the real me. he helped me move on, realize life isn't for regrets, but living.he helped me be happy and find out who i need to be. he's really my best friend, and i don't think he'll ever realize just how good for me he is. he's worth it all. and i know our friendship is not a mistake, but Gods plan.
i dont want to lose you. so i'm holding on to everything. every smile, word, joke, laugh, look, minute and touch we share, i'll hold onto forever.

meu amor para sempre lhama!

JAX

i love this kid.

the sharp knife of a short life.

april 26 2010 my world was rocked, and not in a good way. a close friend of mine Ryan was killed in a motorcycle accident. he was only 18. that day i did things i never want to have to do again. telling someone that their best friend is dead, the pain and feelings that go with that are horrible. i told uncountable people that Ryan was dead. i hated it. i cried for days, and didnt sleep or eat. its all a part of grief, but i had no idea it would be that hard. Ryan's death was so unexpected, so surreal and hard to wrap my mind around.
its so hard to believe that today is the 1 year anniversary of his death. i visited his grave for the first time today. it was sad, yet i needed it. i sat there and thought about Ryan, and all the ways he impacted my life. the times we had in UTT class were so fun! he was smart and funny. i loved being paired with him for activities. i have great memories of playing "spoons" or "mau" during free period, when we were supposed to be studying! i loved every time i spent with Ryan. he was a truly awesome person. i really regret not talking to Ryan the week before he died like i waned to, i put it off and though nothing of it. now i look back and hate that i didnt ask him how he was, to have one last memory of him.

"i wanna live a life that worthy of your calling. remove all the things that hinder me from loving you because i, dont want to regret upon the day i stand before you, may i be found a pure anf spotless bride, ready for her king" RMM

my favorite thing to read is that. i read it almost everyday. ive memorized it, made it my creed almost. Ryan was such an amazing example of Christ, i want to be life that. Ryan's death impacted us all, but for the better i believe. it taught me to value our short, unpredictable lives. make the most of every moment. how many times do we say that, but dont live it? i make it a point to tell my family and friends that i love them all the time. i dont want things to go unsaid. i dont want to have any regrets with things i could have changed. theres so much more i could say, but i will leave it at this:

im so thankful that i knew Ryan, even for shot time. his death impacted my life, for a great way, im thankful for that. thank you Ryan, thank you Jesus for being mighty to save!

thinking?

- "tell me, what do you plan to do with your one, wild and precious life?" [mary oliver]
it really makes you think "why am i here? what can i do to change this world?!"

- april 26th 1 year for Ryan. dang its been hard

- my llama leaves me 2 months earlier than planned. aug 15th. hes already left my store, and i miss him like crazy. i love him a latte, its hard to see him gone!

-  my taylor swift tickets arrived in the mail yesterday. HECK YES.

-im having a bad hair day. so im going to the store to pick out a new color for my hair.

- its my day off, time for some shenanigans!

what i love wednesday?

 so i think im going to give what i love wednesday a try!

i LOVE shopping for nice gauges like these [ from opulentantiquity's shop on etsy]

ANDDDD...

 im loving this girl tons. shes freakin awesome [ http://theeverlastingeli.blogspot.com/]

day 29!

Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile.

above: dria, daniel and i [prom 09] great friends!

below: shawn and i. we look so goofy, i just cant help but laugh

day 27/28

Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member.

me and cuz E

Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of.

well, theres a few things im afraid of:

bugs, reptiles

small spaces

motorcycles

seagulls

milk

losing someone i love

days 25-26

Day 25 - A picture of your day.

working hard for my $ haha

Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you.

my Savior, friend and heavenly Daddy!

day 23& 24

Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book.

the Inheritance Cycle!! im sucha Eragon nerd...

Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change.

orphans, needy kids around the world. it breaks my heart, brings me to tears. someday..

day 22

 Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at.

latte art, its still a work in progress!

and piano. im helping out a friends band, making a "guest" appearance on the keys. ive been teaching myself songs of bands i like also.

days 19/20/21

Day 19 - A picture of you when you were little.

bethy, pappy and I. i miss them both!

Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel.

europe! its on my travel list 

Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget.

our good times, hugs, inside jokes, the best days of my life, how i really feel about you.

day 15.16.17.18

im playing catch-up! i havnt had any internet so here we goooo!

Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die.

Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die.

adopt plenty of orphans like these kiddos!

Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you.

two people really, Dria and Ryan

Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.

my mom having breast and thyroid cancer. SHES A SURVIVOR!

Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity.

no thanks, im trying not to be insecure about anything!!

day 13/14

Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist.

i chose Trevor Hall, because i already put up a pic of He Is We. Trevor Hall music is the theme music for my life, like it plays in my head and in the background of everything i do. its crazy legit.

Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.

my mom... shes a survivor and im forever grateful to my God for letting me keep her around. i'd be lost without her.

day 10,11,12

life has been busy! but im sticking with it! heres 3 days at once :)

Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most effed up things with.

DRIA!!!

Day 11 - A picture of something you hate.

reptiles, i cant stand them. im terrified of them!

Day 12 - A picture of something you love.

STARBUCKS COFFEE! do i need to explain? haha

day 9

Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.

Mimi, my grandma. i wouldnt be me,without her. shes a big role model in my life. these past years would have been so hard if my family didnt have her leading us. Mimi's an inspiration to me, i hope when im "delicate" i can be just like her!  I LOVE HER SO MUCH!

day 7 & 8

Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item.

My camera. its not my most treasured, but i really love it because photography is something i love to do! it helps me make memories!

Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh.

i tagged my besties truck, except he still doesnt know it was me, and he probably never will! mwhahahaha!

day sies

Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.

Bethany Brown. i love this girl. she was my counselor  at WOL a few years back, and shes the coolest person i know. i love facebook stalking her travels around the world, and all the cool stuff she gets to do. Bethany has inspired me to do lots of my own traveling and to maybe study anthropology in college. she makes the #1 on the list of "my friends that ooze coolness!"

day 4 & 5

im combining post since i suck at life and forgot to post yesterday!

Day 04 - A picture of your night.

He is We concert!! such a cool band, i LOVEEE them! 3.4.11

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory.

Graduation day with my besties. i have so many good memories, but this day was exceptionally fun!

[pretty much anything i take a picture of is my favorite memory!]

day 3 [30 day photo challenge]

Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show.

LOST

really, its just an amazing show. worth the 6 years i watched it. i know everything about LOST, and im proud of it!