Wednesday, May 4, 2011

youve changed me inside.

this year has been one full of memories i shall treasure. i found a friend for a lifetime. i don't know if my heart could hold more love for him! he's such a good person, i'm so lucky to be his friend, so fortunate to have met him. he changed me, i'm a different person, and its good. i'm completely myself with him, he knows i'm a nerd, dork, and a big goof ball. he's heard me sing, good and bad. he laughs when i'm not funny and hugged away my fears. he cared for me when i was sick, listened to my stories over and over, wants to know the real me. he helped me move on, realize life isn't for regrets, but living.he helped me be happy and find out who i need to be. he's really my best friend, and i don't think he'll ever realize just how good for me he is. he's worth it all. and i know our friendship is not a mistake, but Gods plan.
i dont want to lose you. so i'm holding on to everything. every smile, word, joke, laugh, look, minute and touch we share, i'll hold onto forever.

meu amor para sempre lhama!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

the sharp knife of a short life.

april 26 2010 my world was rocked, and not in a good way. a close friend of mine Ryan was killed in a motorcycle accident. he was only 18. that day i did things i never want to have to do again. telling someone that their best friend is dead, the pain and feelings that go with that are horrible. i told uncountable people that Ryan was dead. i hated it. i cried for days, and didnt sleep or eat. its all a part of grief, but i had no idea it would be that hard. Ryan's death was so unexpected, so surreal and hard to wrap my mind around.
its so hard to believe that today is the 1 year anniversary of his death. i visited his grave for the first time today. it was sad, yet i needed it. i sat there and thought about Ryan, and all the ways he impacted my life. the times we had in UTT class were so fun! he was smart and funny. i loved being paired with him for activities. i have great memories of playing "spoons" or "mau" during free period, when we were supposed to be studying! i loved every time i spent with Ryan. he was a truly awesome person. i really regret not talking to Ryan the week before he died like i waned to, i put it off and though nothing of it. now i look back and hate that i didnt ask him how he was, to have one last memory of him.
"i wanna live a life that worthy of your calling. remove all the things that hinder me from loving you because i, dont want to regret upon the day i stand before you, may i be found a pure anf spotless bride, ready for her king" RMM
my favorite thing to read is that. i read it almost everyday. ive memorized it, made it my creed almost. Ryan was such an amazing example of Christ, i want to be life that. Ryan's death impacted us all, but for the better i believe. it taught me to value our short, unpredictable lives. make the most of every moment. how many times do we say that, but dont live it? i make it a point to tell my family and friends that i love them all the time. i dont want things to go unsaid. i dont want to have any regrets with things i could have changed. theres so much more i could say, but i will leave it at this:
im so thankful that i knew Ryan, even for shot time. his death impacted my life, for a great way, im thankful for that. thank you Ryan, thank you Jesus for being mighty to save!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011


- "tell me, what do you plan to do with your one, wild and precious life?" [mary oliver]
it really makes you think "why am i here? what can i do to change this world?!"

- april 26th 1 year for Ryan. dang its been hard

- my llama leaves me 2 months earlier than planned. aug 15th. hes already left my store, and i miss him like crazy. i love him a latte, its hard to see him gone!

-  my taylor swift tickets arrived in the mail yesterday. HECK YES.

-im having a bad hair day. so im going to the store to pick out a new color for my hair.

- its my day off, time for some shenanigans!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

what i love wednesday?

 so i think im going to give what i love wednesday a try!
i LOVE shopping for nice gauges like these [ from opulentantiquity's shop on etsy]

 im loving this girl tons. shes freakin awesome []

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

day 29!

Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile.
above: dria, daniel and i [prom 09] great friends!
below: shawn and i. we look so goofy, i just cant help but laugh