its so hard to believe that today is the 1 year anniversary of his death. i visited his grave for the first time today. it was sad, yet i needed it. i sat there and thought about Ryan, and all the ways he impacted my life. the times we had in UTT class were so fun! he was smart and funny. i loved being paired with him for activities. i have great memories of playing "spoons" or "mau" during free period, when we were supposed to be studying! i loved every time i spent with Ryan. he was a truly awesome person. i really regret not talking to Ryan the week before he died like i waned to, i put it off and though nothing of it. now i look back and hate that i didnt ask him how he was, to have one last memory of him.
"i wanna live a life that worthy of your calling. remove all the things that hinder me from loving you because i, dont want to regret upon the day i stand before you, may i be found a pure anf spotless bride, ready for her king" RMM
my favorite thing to read is that. i read it almost everyday. ive memorized it, made it my creed almost. Ryan was such an amazing example of Christ, i want to be life that. Ryan's death impacted us all, but for the better i believe. it taught me to value our short, unpredictable lives. make the most of every moment. how many times do we say that, but dont live it? i make it a point to tell my family and friends that i love them all the time. i dont want things to go unsaid. i dont want to have any regrets with things i could have changed. theres so much more i could say, but i will leave it at this:
im so thankful that i knew Ryan, even for shot time. his death impacted my life, for a great way, im thankful for that. thank you Ryan, thank you Jesus for being mighty to save!