4 DAYS LEFT!

only 4 more days left in the project!! ohhh yeahhh!! im trying to get all my thoughts of this month put together. its been very fun! i cant wait till next october. i already know what dress i might wear!

who i am hates who ive been.

relient k said it right.
we are all full of regrets. as i look back at last year, i see hundreds of things i wish i would of done differently; people i wish i didnt ignore. people i wish i would of never listened too. things i wish never would of said. things i should of confessed. people i should of loved, people i should of ran far away from. things i hate to think of. lessons i should have learned, but didnt. people i shouldnt have hurt. and so so much more. i had tunnel vision last year, and into the beginning of this year. i finally see how absolutely ridiculous i was.
i only got hurt because i let myself get hurt. i knew what was right and wrong, yet i did what i wanted too. i saw the the same things happen to people i love, but i said "im different, i wont let it happen." who was i kidding? all of humanity is the same.
i have such pangs of regret. so much i do reminds me of last year, of who i was. i hate it. i wish i could go back in time and change my mind, to stop me from starting the one relationship that ruined so many. sometime i wonder why i ever started talking to him, but now i see i had lessons to learn, and myself to discover.
im learning to see thru my brokeness, that im still His, im still a princess, im still beautiful, im still loved. in my pain ive discovered who i am. ive found joy, peace, hope and most importantly love.
joy- because i am so happy in whatever i do.
peace- because i am content with where and who i am.
hope- because i anticipate the greatness to come.
love- because i finally saw who was in front of me.
the love in my friends i have just recently found hurts me the most. i had these people in my life for years, and i never gave them the time of day, never really knew them. now they are the ones who love me the most, the ones who care, the ones who make me want to change and be better. i thank them for not giving up on me. i dont know where id be if it wasnt for my best friends. they know who they are.
when you lose someone or something you love, you realize just how fragile and precious life is. 6 months have passed since i lost a dear friend. it shattered my world. people arnt supposed to die at age 18. but God is sovereign and uses everything for good.
i know theres so much more i want to say, but time escapes me. sleep is needed.
i forgive and thank those who hurt me, because without them i would not be here. God used everything that came my way for good. God is writing me a beautiful love story, and mines just beginning.

Punk'ins

I had the privilege of helping Brett carve his 1st pumpkin! (its cause He's Canadian) hahaha. We had a blast and our pumpkins are adorable!

FALL

Well my vacation is over. It was fun while it lasted! I arrived home yesterday from TN, complete with: red hair, short bangs, coffee, LOST, a new shirt and ring, a UF sign, plenty of pictures and TONS of memories. Its a very good possibility that this past week will be my favorite of the whole year. Maybe, just maybe. Life felt wonderful being in the company of my best friend! I got to see the leaves changing. Its crazy to think that God made trees look beautiful as they are dying. Our God is great and awesome!
So I have 8 days left in The October Dress Project. I've been having a great deal of fun. It was a little rough up in TN, because it was cold. I just had to keep layering! MY dress is sorta dying...I'm going to have to burn it after this. Its looking rough.
I think I'm going to carve a pumpkin tonight... Or maybe paint one? We'll see. i just think its time for FL to get some fall weather. So maybe fall-like activities will bring it!!

Boys, Bugs and Proverbs.

‎"Black as hell, Strong as death, Sweet as love." - Turkish proverb

I saw this at a coffee shop in downtown Chatty this week. I thought is was super cool! I'm pretty sure its talking about the wonderful coffee Turkish people drink. If you've never had Turkish coffee, get on it. Its really good. The coffee is thick, rich and syrupy with a chocolate flavor. Yummm! Maybe its talking about a boy? Yes? No? I mean, I love coffee and boys! So I think i'll just apply this to both. hehe

Bugs? I think not. I hate them. Thats why I need: "boys that aren't afraid of bugs, That will always give me big warm hugs." One day I'll find him.

 I like boys that like to smile. Laugh at themselves once in awhile. That can sit and talk for hours. Then in the morning pick me flowers. Boys that like to be very clean. That are never ever, ever mean. And can tell a witty joke. Boys that do not like to smoke. 

I like boys that aren't afraid of bugs, That will always give me big warm hugs. Like to sing and play guitar, That are happy being who they are. Boys that like to be outside. And that aren't full of pride. Boys that have an honest passion with at least a slight hint of fashion.

I like that boys that are funny and artistic. That are mostly optimistic. Boys that are not very lazy, A little weird but not too crazy. Boys that aren't afraid to cry, And will always give a second try. And will try to do they're best, I want a boy not like the rest

I did not write that! Poema did, they're a great band. Check em out here 

Im having a great time here in Dayton....peace out my loves!

10aC

Im in a wonderful place right now. Tennessee.  I really like it here. The weather is wonderful, and Im in the company of my best friend! Im meeting new people, and making lots of good memories! Last night; Dria, Josiah and I bundled up, and headed down to the TN river by a dock. We laid out and watched the stars, and just had tons of fun. I bought a really nice ring in downtown Chatty. I cant wait for the rest of the week to begin!
I dont have much of anything else to say....um Im about to dye and cut my hair!!! waaahooo!

Happys

Things that make me happy:
friends.
smiles.
perfect foam.
trevor hall.
rain.
brasil.
being cozy when its cold out.
taking pictures.
coffee.
cake, but not frosting.
long talks.
reading.
narnia.
clothes.
blue.
my Savior.
prayer.
love.
basketball.
providing legendary service.
knowing i did whats right.
hugs.
being around those i love.
His love letter.
dresses.
sweet tea and corn fritters.
snow.
boys.
him.
stars.
the beach.
music.
laughter.
things that make you happy.

thats not all folks, but its pretty close. enjoy this photo of the people that really, truly make me smile, no matter what.

Eli, Brett & I <3

excitement.

i haven't blogged in a week. whoops. i've been really busy with work and just trying to keep up with friends and family. i leave for TN in 6 days to visit my wonderful soul sister alexandria. i haven't seen her in about  months! i'm so so excited! i will try and wear my dress as much as i can up there. it might be hard because of the weather, but i'll do my best!! its been an interesting 10 days. i'm not tired of wearing the dress yet, i'm just tired of having to sit lady-like all the time! haha. its is a struggle sometimes to find something creative to wear with my dress, but i always work it out. most of the time it something little, like a necklace or scarf. then sometimes i put on a sweater or leggings, which is a more noticeable change. 
side note, i'm working on a "baristas creed". its gonna be things about all starbucks baristas live by. its gonna be pretty legit. black friday is upon us! i cant wait to hang out for all the craziness  all night long!
i've been sining with the worship team at church on sunday mornings, and lemme tell you..its been scary. i normally HATE being in front of people while singing! but i have been having fun, and i think i could keep this up.
soon, i will be blogging some cool posts about my life. they're called: "who i am hates who i"ve been" and " this is me". keep your eyes peeled.....i'm not really sure what else to write about so i sign off!
love love

Sunday {And Saturday!} Confessions

Sat:
Starbucks sponsored a team for the Komen Race for the Cure. Our team name? BARISTAS FOR BOOBIES! I made up the name. hehe. It was great to have Mom walking with us. All the survivors were honored with pink shirts, then did a march together. I am so proud of my Mom! Seeing her with all the other survivors, made me cry. Its been such a rough 2 years, and were finally done! GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME, AND ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD.
Day 2 of the ODP: I wore my dress for the afternoon/ evening with my warrior in pink bandana on my head. I put some jeans under it when I went to Lightforce, because its always chilly in the studio. look at the pictures here

The real Sunday Confession is this:  {I faked eating the communion wafer this morning} lemme explain. for some ODD reason, we have like these super gross styrofoam like communion things right now. I cant stand em, like they make me wanna puke. We're not catholic! So why do we have their wafers!?! I told dad, "sorry, I cant. its too gross." The wafer is actually in my purse right now, I snuck it in there, and made it look like I participated.
Does this make me a bad christian?? I'm sure Jesus understands. If He were here, we wouldn't of chose those sill catholic wafers anyway; He would of given us real bread or something. I drank the juice, so it counts right? I feel pretty silly, no lie. But yeah, I'm such a rebel! A PK, you can tell!
Have a good monday! love love

Day Uma

Day one of The October Dress Project. For writing purposes, I think I will shorten that name...maybe to like ODP. Yeah, thats all professional sounding! So ODP, I'm very excited for you! I think its gonna be TONS of fun!! Today, I worked almost all day, so I didn't have  huge chance to wear my dress. Tomorrow will be better! But heres a look at my dress to see what I'm working with:

I love the color, the cut, the length....pretty much everything about it! Its a "ME" dress. I am going to try and tell you everyday how its going, but I'm not sure if i will remember! But I will do my best!

love love.