the best of twenty-ten.

the year of 2010 has been the greatest year of my short 18 year old life. so many awesome things have happened to me! only with God, have i been able to get through this year. its been hard and beautiful, all at the same time. i've meet crazy cool people, went to some awesome places and accomplished at least 1 thing on my bucket list. here are some highlights:
-senior year baby
-golden bday. 18 on the 18th
-3yrs at Starbucks, and became a shift supervisor
-2010 prom queen
-graduation class speaker
-LOST <3
-migrant camp outreaches
-the 4 best friends
-dreads, and multiple hair colors
-nose and cartilage piercings
-lots and lots of tie-dying
-trips to TN
-october dress project
-meeting knate from anberlin
-tag wars
-ryan michael moddrow
-punk'in carving
-bonfires and late nights
-mac computers and new cameras
-new friends
-trevor hall


i have a great group of friends, we’re inseparable, and that healed my heart more than i can say! people who listen and love on you make life better. they make you wanna change, be a different, better person. this year, i found those kids. and i dont have any intention of ever letting them go. they have my heart, they truly love me and stick beside me thru everything. words dont seem to do justice on how much they mean to me. I LOVE YOU BRETT HOEHNE, ELISABETH HERRIMAN, AND GAVIN HAWKINS. of course theres still my soul sister ALEXANDRIA, who is my love, and sister of my heart. she never ceases to amaze me, life is better with her by my side. my family is wonderful too, the reason for my existence!
 the coolest thing ive learned this year is joy, utter happiness. i’ve discovered such joy in everything i do; whether its making a latte, playing soccer with mexicans, listening to reggae and working my dreads or being with the ones i truly love. i am happy, so happy. God has blessed me so much, and i finally see that. i strive to keep that mindset. i need to be thankful for what i have, im just so lucky to be here. 
i lost a good friend this year, Ryan. Ryan was an amazing man of God, and Ryan’s death taught me to value life, its shorter than you think. i learned a lot this year because of him. i wish i was closer to him, but the time we spend together in school impacted me. i miss him. he wrote this before he died: “ i wanna live a life worthy of Your calling. remove all the things that hinder me from loving You, because i don’t want to regret on the day i stand before you, may i be found a pure and spotless bride, ready for my King” and now ive made it my life quote now. i wanna be just like that.
last year at this time, i didnt want 2009 to end. i was afraid of the unknown new year. but 2010 has been the greatest time of my life. i cant get over how wonderful this year has been! im such a blessed Daughter of the King!! as the year ends, im not too afraid of the new year, im excited to grow up some more, to travel, to experience more life and meet more people.i cant wait for what God has in store for me! hopefully it involves you :)
thank you for your part in my life, i wouldnt be me, if it wasnt for you in my life.
OBRIGADA JESUS!

Love all serve all and create no sorrow

1 Dress, 31 Days

THE OCTOBER DRESS PROJECT 2010 IS COMPLETE! Hurrah!! I had so much fun this month! When I first started, I was a little nervous, I didn't think I could do it. Well, I proved myself, and my family/ friends wrong!

"this project is also about discovering beauty, simplicity, and creativity. "  

AFTER

BEFORE

I learned all of the above this month. Most days i had to think hard about what I could put with the dress, what I hadn't already done. I ended up cutting the dress 2 different times to change it up. After I cut the dress, I loved it even more! 

One thing that i thought about a lot was this: what if this was really my only dress? What if this was the only piece of clothing I had? So many children around the world aren't as privileged as you and I to have plenty of clothes. It made me very thankful for what I do have. I am happy to put on shorts and a t-shirt today, and as I do, I thank God for all He was provided for me.

"to some: it will encourage creativity and put the focus on real beauty by breaking out of the usual cycle of fashion.

to others: it will challenge them to re-think their consumerism.

and to others: it will root them in commitment, sisterhood, self-control, or loyalty.

what will it be for you?"

For me, it helped me learn lots of things.  I had a blast this month. I think every girl should try this. It helps you become more creative, it helps you realize inner beauty [which is a big one for most girls] and it helps you be thankful with what you have! I cant wait till next year to start this all over again!

The Whole Month!

4 DAYS LEFT!

only 4 more days left in the project!! ohhh yeahhh!! im trying to get all my thoughts of this month put together. its been very fun! i cant wait till next october. i already know what dress i might wear!

who i am hates who ive been.

relient k said it right.
we are all full of regrets. as i look back at last year, i see hundreds of things i wish i would of done differently; people i wish i didnt ignore. people i wish i would of never listened too. things i wish never would of said. things i should of confessed. people i should of loved, people i should of ran far away from. things i hate to think of. lessons i should have learned, but didnt. people i shouldnt have hurt. and so so much more. i had tunnel vision last year, and into the beginning of this year. i finally see how absolutely ridiculous i was.
i only got hurt because i let myself get hurt. i knew what was right and wrong, yet i did what i wanted too. i saw the the same things happen to people i love, but i said "im different, i wont let it happen." who was i kidding? all of humanity is the same.
i have such pangs of regret. so much i do reminds me of last year, of who i was. i hate it. i wish i could go back in time and change my mind, to stop me from starting the one relationship that ruined so many. sometime i wonder why i ever started talking to him, but now i see i had lessons to learn, and myself to discover.
im learning to see thru my brokeness, that im still His, im still a princess, im still beautiful, im still loved. in my pain ive discovered who i am. ive found joy, peace, hope and most importantly love.
joy- because i am so happy in whatever i do.
peace- because i am content with where and who i am.
hope- because i anticipate the greatness to come.
love- because i finally saw who was in front of me.
the love in my friends i have just recently found hurts me the most. i had these people in my life for years, and i never gave them the time of day, never really knew them. now they are the ones who love me the most, the ones who care, the ones who make me want to change and be better. i thank them for not giving up on me. i dont know where id be if it wasnt for my best friends. they know who they are.
when you lose someone or something you love, you realize just how fragile and precious life is. 6 months have passed since i lost a dear friend. it shattered my world. people arnt supposed to die at age 18. but God is sovereign and uses everything for good.
i know theres so much more i want to say, but time escapes me. sleep is needed.
i forgive and thank those who hurt me, because without them i would not be here. God used everything that came my way for good. God is writing me a beautiful love story, and mines just beginning.

Punk'ins

I had the privilege of helping Brett carve his 1st pumpkin! (its cause He's Canadian) hahaha. We had a blast and our pumpkins are adorable!

FALL

Well my vacation is over. It was fun while it lasted! I arrived home yesterday from TN, complete with: red hair, short bangs, coffee, LOST, a new shirt and ring, a UF sign, plenty of pictures and TONS of memories. Its a very good possibility that this past week will be my favorite of the whole year. Maybe, just maybe. Life felt wonderful being in the company of my best friend! I got to see the leaves changing. Its crazy to think that God made trees look beautiful as they are dying. Our God is great and awesome!
So I have 8 days left in The October Dress Project. I've been having a great deal of fun. It was a little rough up in TN, because it was cold. I just had to keep layering! MY dress is sorta dying...I'm going to have to burn it after this. Its looking rough.
I think I'm going to carve a pumpkin tonight... Or maybe paint one? We'll see. i just think its time for FL to get some fall weather. So maybe fall-like activities will bring it!!

Boys, Bugs and Proverbs.

‎"Black as hell, Strong as death, Sweet as love." - Turkish proverb

I saw this at a coffee shop in downtown Chatty this week. I thought is was super cool! I'm pretty sure its talking about the wonderful coffee Turkish people drink. If you've never had Turkish coffee, get on it. Its really good. The coffee is thick, rich and syrupy with a chocolate flavor. Yummm! Maybe its talking about a boy? Yes? No? I mean, I love coffee and boys! So I think i'll just apply this to both. hehe

Bugs? I think not. I hate them. Thats why I need: "boys that aren't afraid of bugs, That will always give me big warm hugs." One day I'll find him.

 I like boys that like to smile. Laugh at themselves once in awhile. That can sit and talk for hours. Then in the morning pick me flowers. Boys that like to be very clean. That are never ever, ever mean. And can tell a witty joke. Boys that do not like to smoke. 

I like boys that aren't afraid of bugs, That will always give me big warm hugs. Like to sing and play guitar, That are happy being who they are. Boys that like to be outside. And that aren't full of pride. Boys that have an honest passion with at least a slight hint of fashion.

I like that boys that are funny and artistic. That are mostly optimistic. Boys that are not very lazy, A little weird but not too crazy. Boys that aren't afraid to cry, And will always give a second try. And will try to do they're best, I want a boy not like the rest

I did not write that! Poema did, they're a great band. Check em out here 

Im having a great time here in Dayton....peace out my loves!